


The darkest of nights

by RainbowPlane



Category: Persona 5
Genre: A whole package I would say, Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Now the only thing missing is great writing, im trying…
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-05 14:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17920661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowPlane/pseuds/RainbowPlane
Summary: Akira and Akechi are clearly in love with one another, but of course neither of them are able to speak out their true feelings. They spend evenings together eating, they even spend a whole day together to teach Akira how to ride a bike.But that fun is only temporary for one of them. One of them, as he is alone at night, is nothing but depressed.And when his accidental confession isn’t directly met with an acceptance the dark thoughts take over. Resulting in what would be ‘The darkest of nights’Another submission for the Persona Bigbang by me!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am again! This time bringing you yet another Akeshu angst fic~  
> This time actual attempts at cuteness and smut included too, meaning I sincerely struggled during the entire thing.. (Seriously, how do people write this cute stuff all the time? It's harddd)
> 
> With that said, I really like how this one turned out, so please enjoy!
> 
> (Trigger and content warnings will come up at their respected chapters.)

 

_The nights are the darkest of times for me. It are the times I’m alone with my thoughts._

_In daytime I can act like nothing is wrong, like I’m actually, sincerely happy._

_But truth is I haven t been happy in a long time._

_The dark nights are when I cannot escape my darkest thoughts._

_And honestly, I don’t think I can stand listening to them for much longer._

 

It was already pretty late when Akechi found himself at the station. He had spent the whole evening filming some sort of TV special he didn’t really care much about. The station itself was close to completely deserted, only a few late travellers like himself were still around.

But then he saw a familiar face among the people. And that sight slightly restored his energy.

Akechi made his way towards that known face, smiling happily as he greeted him. ‘’I didn’t expect to see you around here so late, Kurusu-kun.’’

Akira quickly turned around. He wasn’t expecting anyone to talk to him right there, and the voice in question was an even bigger surprise. ‘’I could say the same about you, Akechi.’’ He said in response.

‘’Well, I just had a busy day filming,. It’s quite a tiring thing to do to be honest.’’ Akechi sighed and stroked one hand through his own hair while speaking. He realised he was more tired than he usually was. Maybe he had really overworked himself lately.

This small movement made Akira stare a little. Then his mind came up with an idea. ‘’I suppose you haven’t had the time to eat yet then. Wanna grab a quick bite before going home?’’ He proposed. Akira himself hasn’t had any time to eat either, so the concept of food was also rather interesting to him personally.

And he might just wanted to spend some more time with Akechi, but he obviously would never say that out loud.

The proposal of the idea came quite unexpected for Akechi, but if he had to be honest, he was indeed quite hungry. ‘’Sounds like a plan. Is the small bakery still open?’’

The two of them then went off to buy some bread at the nearby bakery, which luckily was still open this late at night.

After they got themselves some food they just went to sit on the ground against a wall somewhere, both not being interested about possible hygiene issues. They were too tired to care.

‘’You sure you wanna sit here? Your fans might get the wrong idea when they see you hang out like this at the station this late.’’ Akira said as they had sat down. He knew how popular Akechi had become lately, and he didn’t want to be the cause of a gossip magazine’s front paper.

‘’Well, it’s not like there are that many people around here. And since I am not alone it’s also good.’’ Akechi said. He didn’t really care about anyone seeing them together, he was too exhausted to care anyways.

Akira brushed the comment off and they went to eat in silence, both being so worn-out they couldn’t even find the energy to engage in any type of small-talk.

‘’Not hungry anymore?’’ Akechi asked after he had caught Akira mindlessly staring. He understood not being able to focus properly, but this was a little bit worrying.

This snapped Akira right back out of his thoughts. He had been staring at Akechi almost the entire time. How he took a bite, how he ate so quickly. He hadn’t even noticed he had stopped eating himself. ‘’Oh, sorry I spaced out. Tiredness is a thing we both suffer from apparently.’’ He quickly apologized.

Akechi quickly went back to eating, he didn’t think too much about Akira’s staring. He himself was not able to keep focus properly too after all. ‘’How has school been for you lately?’’ Akechi tried to talk a bit, so that neither of them would doze off all of a sudden, keeping them busy.

Akira had actually returned to eating now. He took a moment to finish his bite before answering the question asked to him. ‘’Oh, you know. The same as always. Boring.’’ Akira said.

This made Akechi laugh a little. ‘’Of course it is.’’ He reacted. ‘’Why did you find yourself at the station at this time?’’ Akechi continued to ask questions. This was one he was particularly interested in. It wasn’t usual for a normal high schooler to find himself here. Akechi had the excuse that he also had regular tv-appearances, but as far as he knew Akira didn’t have any valid reasons.

But Akira had caught on the fact that Akechi kept asking him questions. ‘’Interrogating me, detective?’’ He said with a teasing smile on his face. ‘’It’s way past working hours, you know.’’ He added.

The look on Akira’s face made Akechi feel a little embarrassed about the whole thing. His face feeling a little warmer than usual. ‘’That wasn’t my intention, I was just interested.’’ Akechi said as he looked away towards his last bit of food, before stuffing it in his mouth, all at once.

Akira was laughing, it was a soft laugh, but it was definitely the loudest and purest laugh Akechi had heard from him in a while. ‘’Well, I was just meeting with someone, that’s all.’’ Akira said. He didn’t want to get into much detail, but he felt like telling Akechi the truth at least. This small show of trust made Akechi feel a little content.

‘’As long as you’re not up to anything illegal. I wouldn’t like to have to arrest you, you know.’’ Akechi was now the one making jokes. He never did that... There was something about the one sitting right next to him that changed him, that took his guard down. Akechi couldn’t decide whether that was a good thing or not.

Another small laugh from Akira, which actually made Akechi join into the laughing. ‘’Well, you wouldn’t be able to catch me if you had to.’’ Akira said, the same teasing smile forming on his face as before.

‘’Is that a challenge? If so I would gladly accept.’’ Akechi reacted.

 

The two of them kept joking around, both having genuine fun as they sat there, on the floor of the train station. Maybe it was because it was late at night, maybe it was cause of their environment, but the both of them didn’t even try to hide anything. They were themselves, and they had fun.

But then they got interrupted. ‘’Hey, isn’t that Akechi-san?’’ A female voice said into the distance.

Both were immediately sent to reality. The bubble the two of them had created for themselves popped within an instant, like it had never been there at all. ‘’It seems some of my fans are still around this late. I have to go.’’ Akechi said as he already stood up and was ready to walk away.

‘’Wait!’’ Akira exclaimed. This made Akechi turn around, looking questioning at him. Akira didn’t even know why he said anything. He just didn’t want their moment to end. He wanted it to stay like that forever, laughing together like the world around didn’t even exist, but that obviously couldn’t be. ‘’It was fun talking to you this night. I hope we could see each other again soon.’’ He eventually managed to say, feeling the embarrassment taking over almost immediately after.

Akechi’s face got even hotter, cheeks turning red as he didn’t know how to react. ‘’Uhm, yes!’’ He said almost too enthusiastically. ‘’I mean, that would indeed be pleasant. I had a lot of fun too.’’ Akechi regained himself slightly. ‘’See you again.’’ He waved before quickly walking off, hoping his fans didn’t see his bright red face. It would cause even more of a scandal than him sitting on a dirty station floor.

Akira waved back, he just stood there and watched Akechi leave. He was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to regain himself and actually go home himself. The only thing on his mind during the train ride back was Akechi’s smile. It was rare to see him so genuinely happy, and Akira knew he didn’t show that side to anyone, so the thought of him being one to be blessed with that sight made him happy.

It made him hope he would get more moments like that night.

 

It has been a few days since Akira had seen Akechi, but all of a sudden he was there, sitting at the counter in Leblanc as if he was waiting for Akira. This thought, albeit probably not true, made Akira instantly more grateful. ‘’Glad to see you again.’’ Akira said as he walked closer.

Apparently Akechi was lost in his own thought, considering the sudden voice seemed to have startled him a little. He looked up, a bit confused, but his whole expression softened as he saw the sight of Akira. ‘’Well, it has been a few days, and I was also craving coffee.’’ Akechi said before taking a sip of the cup he was holding.

There wasn’t anyone else inside, no one beside Sojiro, who was just looking bored out of his mind. ‘’Well, since you’re here I can leave. Just lock the place as soon as he leaves.’’ Sojiro said as he already made his way to the door. There was no way he would be staying with just those boys inside, they could handle themselves just fine.

Akira simply nodded. He wasn’t sure whether he should be happy Sojiro was gone or not. A weird silence filled the air the moment the front door was shut. Akira was a bit hesitant, but he eventually took place next to Akechi. ‘’So, how have you been?’’ He asked. He didn’t know what else to say, what to talk about. He was rather nervous for some reason.

But Akechi was exactly the same. He went there, to the café, without even thinking about it for even a second. He wanted to be there. He wanted to see Akira…. No, that can’t be it, he was just craving coffee.

Akechi visibly shook his head to get rid of those unnecessary thoughts, which confused Akira quite a bit. ‘’Sorry, life has been a bit exhausting lately. I keep losing track of my thoughts.’’ Akechi said. It wasn’t entirely a lie, he had been rather busy these days. It just wasn’t the entire reason he was like that. Or maybe it actually was?

Although Akira was still wondering what type of thought would make Akechi shake his head like this, he decided not to question it at the moment. Instead he moved the conversation to boring normal talk. ‘’I see, I can’t say I’ve had it any better. Exams are rather close after all.’’ He said.

Then a silence fell between the two. Neither of them knew what to talk about, neither of them knew what to ask. It was the complete opposite of what it had been like at the station. There they were free, here they were trapped. Albeit trapped in nothing but their own minds.

It was Akechi who tried to break the silence this time. ‘’Are the exams tough for you? If you need help I can offer it to you.’’ Akechi said. He didn’t know what to talk about. Simply continuing on with their previous topic seemed like the right choice, the only choice really.

‘’No need, I’ll manage.’’ Akira responded. ‘’And beside, you seem quite busy yourself lately. I wouldn’t want to steal even more precious time from you.’’ He then added.

‘’You can always take my time.’’ Akechi said, well, it was more like a soft whisper. Immediately after he came to realise just what he had said, what he had confessed to.

Luckily Akira didn’t hear. ‘’What did you say?’’ He asked. He thought he heard something. But what he heard seemed so unlikely to him it couldn’t have actually been what Akechi said, right?

‘’Oh, uh… Nothing really.’’ Akechi stumbled upon his words as he realised he actually said that out loud. It was the truth, Akechi liked being there, but why was he still so flustered about saying that? It isn’t anything weird, is it?

Akira was certain Akechi said at least something, but he knew he wouldn’t get an answer on his question if Akechi didn’t want to answer. Even though Akira couldn’t come up with any reason why. ‘’Alright then.’’ Akira then said.

And another silence befell onto the two. Both being unsure of how to move the conversation again, both afraid of failure.

‘’So, what do you do when you actually have free time? If you even have any that is.’’ Akira then tried to ask. As soon as he said the last sentence he felt the urge to slap himself right in the face. The way he spoke sounded so rude.

But Akechi smiled, he was happy the awkward silence was gone again. ‘’Although it is true time for leisure is rare for me, I do actually have some hobbies I enjoy.’’ He said. He almost never had the chance to talk to anyone about subjects like this. Either his conversations ended up being too short, or just with people Akechi didn’t want to get personal with. Luckily conversations with Akira fell into neither of those categories.

Akira put his elbow on the bar and laid his head into his hand, looking questioning at the one next to him. ‘’Well… What are those hobbies of yours? What is the famous detective up to when he has no detective work?’’ Akira asked with a teasing tone in his voice. He just couldn’t resist this chance.

Akechi ignored the mocking completely, but he did answer the question. ‘’Well, first of all I have a thing for classy sports like darts…’’

‘’Boring.’’ Akira interrupted.

Again Akechi ignored as he blatantly continued his story. ‘’Furthermore I also like to try out different restaurants,’’ Again a kinda bored expression was being seen on Akira’s face, or maybe it was disappointment? ‘’which I go to on my bicycle.’’ Akechi finished.

The last part was what made Akira interested yet again. ‘’You cycle?’’ He asked, genuinely surprised, and kind of excited. ‘’I’ve never had the opportunity to learn, but for some reason it has always seem interesting to me.’’ He added.

‘’You wanna ride a bike? That sound like an odd type of wish.’’ Akechi commented. He had never even thought that something so normal to him would actually be fascinating to anyone else. Cycling was nothing but a way of transportation for him after all.

Akira’s eyes wandered down towards the counter, he felt slightly embarrassed now. ‘’Well… I grew up in a town filled with hills. Cycling wasn’t something my parents or anyone ever bothered me to learn, walking was way easier after all.’’ He explained. ‘’There even is a stupid bike in the attic, as if to mock me or something.’’

As Akira looked up again he was met with soft eyes looking back at him. ‘’I can teach you, you know?’’ Akechi said, but then immediately realised what he did. ‘’If… If you want me to that is.’’ He quickly added, already feeling his face warm up.

It was like a spark went through Akira’s eyes, a bright smile filling up his face. ‘’Yes!’’ He exclaimed, now he was the one to react way too excited upon an invitation. ‘’I mean, I would really enjoy that, if you can find the time.’’ He then added, recollecting himself.

And Akechi reacted even before he could think about it even for a second. ‘’I’m actually free this Sunday, you?’’ He said.

‘’Yes, I am too!’’ Again, Akira was clearly showing his excitement. He did actually had other things planned, but he could just hold those things off till later. Time with Akechi was way more important to him, although he would never say such a thing out loud.

Akechi chuckled slightly. ‘’Good. Glad to see you this excited as well.’’ He commented, which resulted into a slight pink colour on Akira’s cheeks. ‘’I do not have much time left this evening however. I should probably take my leave soon.’’ He then said.

Akira could only barely hold himself down from yelling something like ‘No, don’t go yet!’. He instead nodded silently, his excitement gone.

The both shared a few more moments talking and smiling. Now that the awkwardness they had experiences at the beginning of the evening was gone they felt pleasant together. Creating the same sort of atmosphere they had at the station. This was, until Akechi really couldn’t stay any longer.

And as soon as he left out of the door Akira couldn’t contain his excitement anymore. He kept smiling as brightly as he most likely was physically capable of. He was going to spend a whole day with Akechi now! What else could he be beside extremely happy?


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

_The nights are becoming much and much more difficult to survive._

_I know I shouldn't feel like this, I know I should be happy._

_With him occasionally by my side, him actually happy to spent time with me, I shouldn't be anything but happy really._

_But no, my useless mind keeps being like this. It keeps wanting to die._

_I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know whether I should listen._

_The nights after I've spent time with him are the worst._

_Since then I get reminded of the fact that I am nothing special to him anyways._

_That I am nothing but a useless burden._

 

They meet up in the park that Sunday. It might be a little harder to ride on the sandy paths, but at least it was not that crowded as on the streets. Akira felt a bit embarrassed about the entire thing, so having as little people around him as possible was ideal. And maybe the thought of being alone with Akechi also spoke to him, but that was just a minor detail.

‘’Alright so, it’s actually pretty simple when you know what to do.’’ Akechi began to try and explain it to Akira with words. ‘’You just sit and paddle forwards, try to keep yourself steady as you go.’’

Akira just looked at the bike, and then back at Akechi. He appreciated him trying to explain it like this, but there was no way he could really understand without actually experiencing it. ‘’So, can I try?’’ Akira asked like an impatient child.

Akechi handed his bike over to Akira. He was a little hesitant, but he knew he could trust Akira. ‘’Just be careful.’’ He said.

‘’Of course, I wouldn’t want to destroy the bike of my amazing teacher after all.’’ Akira said as he smiled at Akechi.

‘’That isn’t… Never mind.’’

Akira sat on the bike and put his first foot on the paddle, but as soon as he lifted his second foot he instantly lost his balance and fell. ‘’This appears to be more difficult than I thought.’’ Akira said as he just sat there, on the ground, looking a little defeated.

Then Akechi reached out his hand to help him up. ‘’Of course it is. Did you really expect you could just ride off at your first attempt?’’ He said as he pulled Akira up, waiting just a little too long to let go of his hand again after.

This all made Akira slightly embarrassed. ‘’Just… Just let me try it again.’’ He said, already picking up the bike for his second attempt.

Akechi wasn’t going to try and stop him, seeing Akira try his best was great. Seeing him fall off again was also kinda amusing, cute even.

Akira fell down again, and then some more. Akechi couldn’t help himself but look fondly at him every time Akira would just get up and tell him he wanted to try again.

They both didn’t know how much time has passed, but there hasn’t been even the slightest of improvements. Akira kept falling off, sometimes he did at least managed to ride a little bit, but the way he swayed from side to side intensely while doing so always ended in yet even more contact with the ground.

‘’Let’s take a break.’’ Akechi eventually said, as he saw frustration growing in Akira’s expression. He didn’t know how long it would take before Akira would be so frustrated he would hurt himself, or the bike of course.

They sat down against a tree. ‘’Well, I am a failure of a student it seems.’’ Akira said with a slight smile on his face.

Akechi looked at Akira and smiled softly in return. ‘’Not really, it’s me, the teacher, failing here.’’ He said. Akechi knew he had barely done anything to help Akira, nothing but smile and watch how cute Akira fell. ‘’But I think I know how to help you.’’ He added.

Since Akira had no idea what Akechi was thinking, he simply tilted his head.

‘’I’ll…’’ Akechi had some trouble speaking. ‘’I’ll try and hold you steady as you try again.’’ He finished.

‘’You don’t need to do that.’’ Akira said immediately. The thought of Akechi holding him, any type of physical contact, made him feel warm inside. But it also scared him. If he got distracted by this, wouldn’t cycling go even worse?

‘’Yes, I do.’’ Akechi responded as he didn’t feel like turning back on this. ‘’Have you seen how much you’re failing at the moment? There’s no way we will get anywhere unless I help out.’’

Akira had no response, he knew Akechi was right. And you know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have Akechi at his side for a while. If he could at least calm down his nerves there should be nothing to worry about.

It didn’t take long before both got up on their feet once again, break time was over. And almost immediately after Akira found himself on the bike once again. Akechi placed his hands on either of Akira’s hips as he stood beside him, the sudden touch startling Akira a little.

Akechi didn’t seem to notice the reaction. ‘’Just try to go slowly, I’ll walk beside you to make sure you don’t fall.’’ He said.

And that was exactly what they did. It didn’t go perfect, but at least Akira was now able to make a little bit of distance, before Akira lost control of the steer again, which forced them to stop before they would both tumble down. ‘’You’re doing great!’’ Akechi said as they went.

‘’That’s because you are helping, you’re doing great as well!’’ Akira replied with a bright smile. He was really having fun now, feeling the wind in his hair as he was finally moving. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing the entire time.

They also both ended up going a little quicker every time, making just a bit of extra speed. This all went well until Akechi failed to see a small rock that was located right on his path.

‘’Auch…’’ Akechi said as he crashed to the ground, but that wasn’t the end of it. A force came down on top off him immediately after Akechi reached the sand, and it took him a moment to realise what that force was.

He had taken Akira down with him, he has been holding him so tight he took him with him without even noticing. Akechi could feel the soft hair of Akira on his cheek, which was probably the nicest thing he had ever felt. ‘’That was indeed painful.’’ Akira said as he lifted his head, Akechi having to stop himself from pulling Akira back down. The sensation lost.

But then Akira’s whole body froze as he realised where he was. He knew he landed softer than all previous times, but this definitely wasn’t what he expected. As he looked down he could look straight into Akechi’s eyes. Akira had never been close enough to really see them well, but now he couldn’t stop staring at them. There was a soft warmth within them. It wasn’t like Akira remembered them, they looked at peace.

Akechi stayed completely frozen still too. He saw the look in Akira’s eyes and just couldn’t look away. For a moment, a small moment, he thought Akira might actually feel the same way, but Akechi quickly buried that idea. There was absolutely no way that was anything but a hopeful wish, a dream that could never be.

It was then that Akechi first noticed how long the two of them had been in that position, just staring into each other’s eyes, both lost in the moment. His whole face became a crimson type of red immediately. ‘’Uhm, Akira?’’ Akechi tried to ask, his voice being rather soft. He didn’t want this to end, but it had to.

Akira didn’t even hear him at first, but when Akechi actually began to softly shake his shoulder he finally came back to reality. He then realised what he had been doing, how creepy he must’ve been.

And in one swift motion he quickly jumped up. ‘’I…’’ He stumbled upon his words. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ He then exclaimed. His cheeks having turned a darker colour too.

Akechi couldn’t stop to admire Akira, but he shook his head to shake put the thought. It had been far too much already today, he should stop thinking about these unnecessary things, before he does or say something he would regret.

After Akira had calmed down a little he realised Akechi was still on the ground. So now he took turn to reach out his hand to help him up. Akechi hesitated to grab it, after all that just happened, but he did in the end. He couldn’t look Akira in the eyes even once during though.

‘’I think I can try on my own again.’’ Akira said, softly. ‘’Thanks for steadying me, it really helped a lot.’’

Akechi was still too overwhelmed by everything to really react, he just nodded as he took place at the side of the path.

It didn’t take that long till the sun began to set. Akira had made quite a lot of progress, but he still needed to practice way more before he would be able to use cycling as a way of transport.

‘’I suppose we should quit for the day. You won’t be able to see a single rock in the dark here after all.’’ Akechi said.

The thought of having to part at that moment was actually rather painful for Akira at that moment. He didn’t want their time together to end yet. That why he came up with an idea, a way to spend some more time together. ‘’Can I treat you to dinner, as a way of paying you back?’’ He asked.

Akechi’s first thought was to turn it down immediately, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to separate either. He didn’t want this time together to end yet.

So he ended up accepting the offer, which gave them a few more hours in each other’s presence at least.

 

They ended up getting themselves some sushi, upon Akechi’s request. He didn’t want to request something as expensive at first, but when Akira asked him what his favourite food was he didn’t think of the consequences.

Inside they kept talking happily, laughing about their day. Well, almost everything. Both tried their best to avoid talking about the moments they’ve spend on the ground together. It was clear when one of them thought about it again, since that was immediately followed by a slightly shocked and embarrassed reaction.

And so the night flew by extremely quickly. Akechi was completely stuffed with delicious sushi. And Akira was glad to see how happy Akechi was with it, his money was well spend.

‘’I’ll walk with you to the station.’’ Akechi offered as they stood outside the restaurant. He didn’t want to just ride off then and there, he didn’t want these happy moments together to end, not yet.

And Akira definitely didn’t want that either. ‘’If you want to.’’ He said, trying not to sound too overly happy about it. He kept having to remind himself that it was nothing but a friendly gesture, no underlying intentions. Akechi would never like him in that way.

In the end it was Akira that walked with the bike. Akechi wanted to fight it as soon as Akira reached for the bike, but he was already walking by then. There was nothing to do but to accept it and follow.

The streets were quiet, even for this time of day. There was something about this dark that made Akechi uneasy, something that made him scared. He never knew why, but it was the main reason he didn’t really walk around that much this late. He only ever did so when he didn’t have any other choice. It was however a bit reassuring to have something by his side this time.

Neither of them realised, neither of them even thought for a second that it was odd, but Akechi ended up literally holding on to Akira. The feeling of someone right with him made him feel safe, made him feel happy.

Akira just went with it, he felt the warmth on his arm and secretly hoped it would stay there forever. Of course that couldn’t happen. Of course Akechi didn’t do this because he had any sort of feelings. It was probably just for the warmth, it got rather cold at night after all.

Then some sounds could be heard through the previously quiet streets. The sounds of voices.

‘’Hey, isn’t that Akechi?’’ The first of the voices asked, it appeared to belong to a girl.

The second a girl as well. ‘’Yes, I think so. But, is he holding someone? Another guy?’’ She sounded surprised.

‘’Oh my god! He is! Could it be a boyfriend?’’ The first girl exclaimed.

Both the boys turned around towards the source of the voices at once. And the girls quickly walked away.

It was then that Akechi realised in what position he was in, and he jumped away immediately. ‘’I… I’m sorry.’’ He mouthed quietly, too quiet to hear, as he looked down at the ground. He wasn’t able to face Akira, not after this. He had let himself go, he stopped thinking, and now he went too far.

Akira was unable to speak, he didn’t know what to say. He wanted Akechi close again, wanted to feel the warmth of his body next to his own again. Yet he couldn’t say any of those things. He remained quiet.

The only thing he knew to do was laugh it off. ‘’You seemed to be rather comfortable there.’’ He said, smiling a little. ‘’Didn’t know you liked me that way, detective.’’ The moment those words escaped his mouth he felt the urge to slap himself right in the face. He went too far, way too far.

Akechi’s face only turned even redder, yet he didn’t raise his head. ‘’So what if I do.’’ He muttered, his face hidden by long strands of hair.

Again, Akira didn’t know what to say. He did hear that right, right? He actually confessed?? His whole mind shut down immediately, unable to focus, unable to answer.

Before Akira could regain himself, before he could reassure Akechi it was fine, that he felt the same, Akechi realised. He realised what he had done, what had happened. ‘’I… I need to… I need to go!’’ He yelled out as he snatched his bike out of Akira’s hands.

‘’No, wait!’’ Akira tried to yell, but it was already too late. Akechi has disappeared into the dark night, leaving Akira alone in the dark street.

He had fucked up.


	3. Chapter 3

 

_I... I don't know anymore. I don't think I deserve his love, even if he would ever feel the same too..._

 

Akira couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened that night. And he felt extremely guilty. He should’ve just opened his damned mouth, he should’ve just told him he felt the same way.

What he definitely shouldn’t have done was teasing Akechi about it, that was like the worst thing he could’ve done. He should’ve reassured him, should’ve told him not to listen to some random girls.

But no, instead he decided to say literally nothing, letting Akechi ride off without knowing the truth.

The truth that Akira definitely liked him that way too.

The truth that Akira could literally not stop thinking about Akechi.

He loves the way he talks. The way he smiled when no one else is around. He especially loves the Akechi that no one else sees, the one only Akira himself has managed to sneak a peak of.

The Akechi that doesn’t care about his appearance, that is open, soft and happy.

 

That same night Akira tried to call Akechi, but he wasn’t given a response. The sound of the call ending was one of the most devastating sounds in the world for Akira at that moment. But the silence after was quick to take that spot.

Akira felt like he had screwed up his one and only chance. His one chance to actually tell Akechi how he felt.

To tell Akechi that he loved him with his entire heart.

 

The very next day Akira tries to call again. Just like the day after, and the one after that. But never was he given a response, the silence was still there, and it kept being incredibly painful.

It made Akira feel miserable. This might mean there time together is over. No more seeing each other till late at night. No more just laughing and having fun together. No more focussing on nothing but each other, like the outside world didn’t exist.

On tv he could still see Akechi, but Akira knew that smile he held there wasn’t real. The sight of that smile, that forced smile, pained him the most.

He wanted to see him again, he wanted to set this right.

He wanted to confess too…

 

 

_While the nights used to be the worst after I had spent time with him, these recent ones are even worse._

_I miss him._

_He was like a drug, and I am experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms._

_I should've listened to that voice in my head from the very start._

_I am not worth his time. I am nothing but a useless burden that doesn't even deserve to live._

Part of Akira’s wish gets fulfilled after an entire week of separation. It was another late night when they faced each other again. At the station, the exact same as before.

As soon as Akira laid eyes on that all too familiar hair he couldn’t do anything besides running straight at it. ‘’Akechi!’’ He yelled all the way across the station, sounding desperate.

But Akechi was too lost in thought to notice at first, he was stuck in his mind. It took until Akira was real close he snapped to reality and saw. His body freezing completely instantly.

Part of him wanted to see Akira again. Part of him wanted to answer the phone every time Akira’s name popped up. But then another, one slightly more dominant, part of him couldn’t. As long as he never spoke Akira he wouldn’t be able to get completely disappointed. As long as silence was maintained there was no rejection.

That was the logic Akechi went by, but then at the same time the silence killed him. It made him afraid, afraid that he would never see that beautiful smile again.

So when Akira was there, right in front of him, at the station he just didn’t know what to do. He longed to hear his voice, wanted to break the silence, but at the same time the only thing he wanted was to run.

‘’Akechi…’’ Akira had ran so hard he was out of breath the moment he arrived. ‘’I… I wanted to talk to you.’’ He added as soon as he regained his breath a bit.

But that only triggered Akechi’s flight response even more. ‘’I’m sorry, I’m rather busy at the moment.’’ He quickly said as he tried to turn around.

But a hand grabbed his wrist before he could fully walk away. ‘’Please, don’t run away again.’’ Akira said. He sounded even more desperate now. Akira needed to say what has been on his mind for what feels like ages now, he needed Akechi to know the truth.

‘’I need to go, now.’’ Akechi said, his voice sounding rather forceful. Then he roughly pulled his arm back and disappeared into the crowd.

Akira was now really ready to slap himself. Again he didn’t just yelled out what he felt. Again he just let Akechi ran off.

Again the silence returned.

 

No replies, it began to drive Akira insane. So insane that the ones around him began to notice. Futaba being the first to actually come over and ask what was going on.

‘’So, what’s up?’’ She asked as she came up to the attic one evening. He had barely spoken to anyone for almost two weeks, it began to worry all of them.

It took Akira a moment to respond. He wasn’t sure whether he could actually tell someone what was going on. Mostly just because he was embarrassed of all the mistakes he had made. But he knew he couldn’t keep it for himself for much longer, it was dragging the team down now too. ‘’It’s… Akechi isn’t responding to me anymore.’’ Akira eventually said.

It was then that Futaba knew exactly what was going on. Everyone knew Akira had a crush on the guy, it was always so obvious. ‘’Why not?’’ She asked.

Akira took a deep breath. ‘’Because I failed to respond when he confessed to me.’’ He answers, his vision going straight towards his feet after he did. ‘’Twice.’’ He added.

Futaba took a seat next to him. ‘’Why am I not surprised.’’ She said while smiling bright. ‘’But, I think I have a solution for you. If you want to fix all of this that is.’’

This made Akira look at her with an expression that was a mix of questioning and fear. He knew Futaba could have some great ideas, but he also knew how scary those same ideas could be. Part of him didn’t want to even know, somewhere he just wanted to lay this all behind him and move on. Even when he knew he could never fully get rid of these feelings.

Yet the part of him that didn’t want that at all. He didn’t want to give up yet. ‘’And what might that be?’’ He asked, having made up his mind.

 

That same evening he found himself in front of a door he had never seen before. A place he had never expected to visit. He checked the number next to the door and compared it to the one on the note in his hand again. Yes, he was at the right place. A small apartment in a rather large, and mostly tall, complex.

_‘’I can find you his address!’’_

Futaba’s exciting voice echoed though his head. Normally he wouldn’t agree to such a thing, it felt like a breach of privacy, yet there was something that told him he had to. He had to fix his mistakes. He had to go there, and he had to go this night.

His finger was close to the doorbell, but he was too scared to push it. What if Akechi would just slam the door right in his face, what if he became angry with him for visiting his place uninvited like this? He had gathered his address without permission after all…

All those scenarios flew through his head over and over again. Till he had absolutely enough of all the painful thoughts in his head and quickly pushed the doorbell, before those thought would turn him around.

Then he waited.

And he waited some more.

No reply came. Even here the silence was all around.

Akira wasn’t going to push it again, he knew how to take the hint. He wasn’t welcome there, he wasn’t welcome in Akechi’s life.

But right before he turned around he noticed something. Something that made his mood switch immediately.

The door was open.

Whether it was open the entire time, or whether Akira just didn’t notice it going open was something he didn’t know. What he did know is that both scenarios meant he had to go inside. Either since he was invited in or since something bad happened.

And of course the worst of the two happened to be the case.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for (possible) suicide...  
> (I knowww, it had to happen one time tho)

 

 

_Tonight, I feel better._

_Since tonight I've decided._

_Tonight shall be the darkest of nights for me._

_Tonight it shall all end._

The room was dark, except for this small light standing on a desk, shining weakly. Walking towards the light was the first thing that came to Akira’s mind, but he wasn’t ready at all for what was waiting for him there.

In the middle of the desk a small notebook lain, a diary rather, with a fountain pen right next to it. The ink on the page was still shining, showing it hadn’t dried completely yet.

And as he saw those last words written Akira’s entire world collapsed within that particular moment.

 

_Goodbye, Akira._

 

Those two words were like a knife stabbing right through his heart. And as he read the other fragments written in there, His heart got stabbed over a million times more.

He began to read more and more. But every word caused even more pain, it was almost unbearable.

It was then that he truly realised the urgency of the situation, and he began to panic instantly. There wasn’t much time, the ink was still wet, so it couldn’t have been that long ago since he left. But where did he go?

Akira could only think of one place, one place he could at least reach within the small window he still had left, if he even still had any time. If he wasn’t already too late… Please don’t let him be too late.

_Stairs, so many stairs…_

But his hunch ended up being correct. There, on the edge of the roof, a figure stood, the one figure he hoped to find there. Even when Akira obviously would’ve preferred this whole situation wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

‘’Akechi!’’ Akira yelled as soon as he opened the door, even before he actually saw him.

The figure turned around. Akechi’s eyes looking dark, darker than they’ve ever done before, at the same time they also looked completely lifeless, the shine Akira had admired over and over again now nowhere to be found. ‘’What are you doing here?’’ He asked. He didn’t show any sign of emotion, it was as if he was completely empty inside. Just a soulless vessel.

Akira took a step closer, but he didn’t want to go to fast. He didn’t want to scare Akechi. ‘’I came to see you.’’ He answered. ‘’I… I need to tell you something.’’ He added.

‘’Don’t. Leave.’’ Were the only words Akechi said. This stabbed Akira right through the heart once again. However he was determined to stay. He wouldn’t leave without taking Akechi with him.

Akira instead took another step closer. ‘’No, I won’t leave you.’’ He yelled. The wind up there was rather strong, he could barely be heard even while raising his voice.

Akechi was silent for a moment, and this made Akira attempt to get even closer. ‘’If you come any closer I will jump right now.’’ Akechi threatened as he noticed Akira moved again.

This made Akira stop his movement quickly. ‘’Weren’t you going to anyways? Can’t you at least listen to what I have to say to you before you do so?’’ Akira tried. He had no intention to let Akechi go afterwards, but he had to try and win his trust first.

Akechi’s hair was flowing in the wind, locks covering his face, but Akira managed to catch another glimpse of his eyes and they already were a bit lighter. Maybe he actually had a chance. ‘’Alright…’’ Akechi reacted.

Then Akira froze once again. Even after all this, even in this moment, he was still scared to say it. He took a deep breath, before he finally spoke the words he had been meaning to say for so long. ‘’I… I love you.’’ He muttered. Akira was almost certain he spoke way too soft for Akechi to even hear him.

But the next time he caught a glimpse of his eyes he saw the change, he saw a tear falling down. ‘’No, no you can’t.’’ Akechi began to ramble. Akira’s words seemed to have hurt something deep inside him. ‘’You can’t love me. Why would you ever even love someone like me?’’

‘’Because you are an amazing guy.’’ Akira said. ‘’And beautiful, smart, cute.’’ He began to ramble himself too now, feeling tears poke at the corners of his eyes. ‘’For me you are absolutely perfect, so please, don’t do this. Please get off there and talk to me. Please!’’

It took Akechi a moment before he could react. His reaction wasn’t what Akira wanted, not at all. ‘’No… NO!’’ He began to yell out. ‘’That’s impossible! No one would ever love me like that.’’ He continued. ‘’Not when they knew the true me…’’ His voice dropped quiet during the last part.

There was a moment of silence between the two. But Akira wasn’t going to tolerate any silence, never again. ‘’You telling me all the time spend together was a lie? That your smile when we talked was only fake?’’ Akira said. ‘’Cause I know what your fake smile looks like, and it’s nothing like how you look when we were alone together.’’

This froze Akechi again. He didn’t know what to respond. Akira was right, he always ended up letting his guard down, dropping his mask, whenever he was alone with him. But that didn’t mean that was also a true part of him, right? He was nothing but a terrible human being, one who apparently yearns for the love of someone. But he doesn’t deserve this love, he doesn’t deserve those happy moments.

The only thing he deserves is death.

It was then when he felt the warmth of a hand on his wrist. Akechi didn’t even have the time to react. He was pulled down from the edge within a single second. He couldn’t think, he wanted to run, but at the same time he couldn’t move.

There still was this part of him that wanted Akira’s love, his warm hands holding him, his voice telling him only good things. But every time he reminded himself yet again. _‘I don’t deserve love.’_

Akechi tried to fight as Akira did his best to hold him in his arms. Fighting was no use, Akira’s grip was too strong. ‘’Don’t fight it. You are loved.’’ Akira whispered softly. ‘’So please, listen to me, believe me when I tell you these things about you. Your mind might be tearing you down, you might have parts of you I don’t know, but do know that I will forever be here for you. Reminding you of the good things about you.’’

Akechi stopped struggling, instead he broke down completely. He held Akira’s shirt in a tight grip as tears escaped his eyes. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do, but what he did know was that the love he felt for the one in front of him was a real part of him. That this was something he wanted for so long.

Someone who would actually care for him.

They remained like that for a while, Akira softly stroking Akechi’s hair and back as he continued to whisper words of love and admiration to him. He himself having tears escape his eyes too.

It wasn’t until Akira noticed that Akechi’s sobs began to quiet down that he pulled away slightly, brushing away strands of hair to look into Akechi’s eyes. They were completely red, and fully surrounded by liquid, yet they had returned to their beautiful state. Akira couldn’t do anything besides stare into those eyes again. They were just so gorgeous.

‘’Those eyes of yours are always so beautiful, even like this.’’ Akira finally confessed what he was thinking.

This made Akechi actually smile a little. ‘’Th-thank you.’’ He muttered as he didn’t really know how to react upon such a compliment.

It was then that Akechi as well ended up staring. Both completely forgetting the world around them as they looked into each other’s eyes. It felt reassuring, seeing each other like that again. Both now finally coming to terms with everything that had happened, realising the possibilities that opened up to them now.

Akira made the next move, inching his face closer. He did it slowly, as to make sure Akechi had enough time to react if needed. But then Akechi in moved too, him not being subtle in the slightest.

Their lips met with quite a force. Their whole bodies being as close to the other’s as possible. Hands finding ways to hold as they moved slowly.

Akechi slid both his arms around Akira’s neck, his hands finding his fluffy black hair. In the meantime Akira’s hands were still on Akechi’s back, one sliding down slightly to his hips.

Their lips moved softly over each other, both not wanting to overwhelm. But both feeling fully connected to each other.

After some time they broke off their kiss, Akira now pressing his forehead against Akechi’s, looking back into those shining eyes again.

‘’Maybe we should go off this roof.’’ Akira said. He wasn’t planning on leaving Akechi’s side yet, but staying on this cold roof didn’t seem like the best option. It was nothing but a bad, and cold place after all.

Akechi had completely forgotten where they were for a moment, but reality quickly kicked in. ‘’Yes, of course.’’ He said as he parted from Akira slightly. ‘’Do you… Do you wanna come with me to my place?’’ He asked, feeling a little anxious all of a sudden.

Akira held one of Akechi’s hands. ‘’If you want me there.’’ He said, squeezing the hand slightly.

‘’Of course I want you there!’’ Akechi blurted out, maybe a little too loud. ‘’I… I mean…’’ He added as soon as he realised.

But Akira could only smile at it, and he already took steps towards the stairs, pulling Akechi along with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter has some pages drawn for them within by the amazing Mei!  
> (Link to her twitter in the ending notes along with the link to another amazing art piece~)
> 
> (Just the sfw parts tho~)  
> (Yes, I attempt smut once again!)

 

As they walked into the small apartment Akira was met with the same sight he saw when he first came in there. He had left it like this, a dark room with just that one light.

Akira felt the grip of Akechi’s hand loosen. Akechi walked straight towards the source of light, towards the desk where the diary lay. It was still open on the last page.

His hand reaches out to touch it, as if it was a foreign object to him, but Akira laid his hand on top, entwining their fingers together when he moved their hands to close it.

Akechi’s eyes went up to Akira’s, he felt anxious again. ‘’Did… Did you read it?’’ He asked. When he really thought about it he knew the answer, but he still felt the urge to ask.

 

 

Akira nodded. ‘’Yes, I did.’’ He answered honestly. Then he brought their joined hand upwards towards his face, placing a soft kiss into the palm of Akechi’s hand. "But what's in there doesn't matter anymore, what does is that now you're mine. And you are perfect to me."

Those combination of gestures and words transformed Akechi into a blushing mess. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to respond. He ended up just staring at the ground, face redder than ever before.

 

 

Their hands have been separated, but instead Akira now placed his hand under Akechi’s chin, trying to lift it up slowly to kiss him again.

Akechi, on the other hand, wasn’t so soft. As soon as their eyes met again Akechi almost jumped into Akira, his hands in the soft black hair as their lips met with force once again.

It took Akira by surprise, but he recovered quickly. As he opened his mouth slowly he was met by a soft tongue against his own, both exploring each other’s mouth without holding back. Akira almost lost control over his own hands, as they moved lower and lower. It wasn’t until he noticed Akechi’s body stiffened up a little that he stopped. Quickly breaking the kiss as well.

‘’I… I’m sorry.’’ Akechi apologized as he realised what happened. ‘’It’s just… I…’’ It was difficult for Akechi to figure out the right words to explain. It was nothing but a stupid thought in his mind that holds him back. He feels so stupid he’ even listening to it in the first place. ‘’My mind is still telling me this isn’t true. That I am not worth your time at all.’’ He eventually whispered, almost too quiet to even hear.

But Akira heard exactly what he said, and the realisation that Akechi was still so tormented by his own mind pained him a lot. Akira knew that Akechi couldn’t be cured within an instant, but he hoped he would be able to let Akechi understand just how much he meant to him. How he deserved nothing less than the entire world.

 

 

But since that wasn’t the case just yet Akira knew he just had to keep telling Akechi all of this, over and over again, till one day he himself would believe it too. "Of course you are. You are all I've ever wanted for so long.’’ He began, but then he lost control over his words for a small moment as he just blurted out exactly what he was thinking and feeling. ‘’You have no idea how much I am holding back right now, having such a beautiful, awesome guy right here in my arms."

The room went quiet for a moment as Akira realised just what he had implied. It was the truth, he felt way too much at that moment, but to so suddenly say that was too much. He was afraid he had just scared Akechi off. That he had made him uncomfortable.

Akechi needed a moment to realise what Akira just told him. He didn’t know whether it truly meant what he thought, but he did know one thing. Whatever it is Akira wants, he wants it too. ‘’Then… Don’t hold yourself back.’’ Akechi eventually mumbled.

Akira wasn’t sure whether he heard that correctly or whether it was just his mind playing with him. ‘’You sure?’’ He asked. To give Akechi one more chance to get back at his words if he wanted to, since Akira was almost certain he didn’t really think them through either.

 

 

It took Akechi a moment to reply, but his mind was made up. "Yes, I'm sure.’’ He confirmed. ‘’To be honest, you are all I've ever wanted as well..."

That was the thing Akira needed to hear. He quickly pushed in to reunite their lips once again. This time he continued to roam his hands all around Akechi’s body. First he slowly tucked at his jacket, but since he wasn’t stopped Akira slid it off of Akechi.

Akira’s hands immediately found their way underneath Akechi’s shirt. The sudden feeling of cold fingertips against his warm skin made Akechi shiver a little, but he didn’t want it to stop. Slowly the hands went away again, just to find and undo the buttons.

Akechi didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know whether he should do the same. He moved his hands towards Akira’s jacket as well, but he didn’t move to take it off yet. Instead he gripped the fabric tightly. ‘’It’s okay, take it off if you want.’’ Akira said as he quickly parted broke their lip contact, only to regain and deepen the kiss immediately after.

Their lips brushed almost violently over each other as Akechi finally gotten around to slide the jacket off of Akira’s body. Now he was brushing his hands over the sweater underneath, he could feel all of Akira’s muscles underneath it.

In the meantime Akira was done with the buttons, and slowly undid Akechi from his tie and then the shirt. He moved away slightly to give Akechi the room to get the sweater over his head. But just as quickly they were as close to one another as possible again.

Akira softly guided the other towards the bed that was almost next to the desk they were at, slowly letting Akechi’s body fall onto the mattress as he himself climbed on top. All without breaking the contact between their lips for even a small second.

It was then that Akira got painfully aware of just how much he wanted this. Their position making it so they were touching each other entirely, their apparent erections sliding over each other as they moved even slightly.

Akechi’s face was completely red, small suppressed moans escaping him every time one of them moved. ‘’Still okay?’’ Akira asked as he lifted his head slightly. He was a little afraid he would go too far, that he would do something Akechi didn’t want him to.

But Akechi responded with lifting his hips slightly, pressing the two of them together even more. This was all the confirmation Akira needed, as his mouth now found Akechi’s jawbone. Slowly kissing down to his neck.

Small gasps escaped Akechi’s mouth every time Akira’s lips touched his skin again. Every time it felt like a completely new sensation. It felt like small sparks going through him, it was the best thing he had ever felt till that moment.

‘’You are just so beautiful.’’ Akira whispered as he was still kissing down Akechi’s neck, slowly making his way towards his collarbone. ‘’And all those little sounds you make, those little reactions you give, they are just the best too.’’ He continued to whisper soft words of praise in between his kisses as he made his way further down, which only turned Akechi on even more.

He only stopped as he arrived at the rim of Akechi’s pants. ‘’You’re definitely sure it’s okay, right? After this there’s no way to return.’’ Akira felt the need to confirm one last time.

‘’Of course it is.’’ Akechi reacted, his hands once again finding their way into Akira’s hair.

Akira took that as the final push he needed. His hands moved to open up Akechi’s pants, moving as soft as he possibly could. Almost immediately he got to slid the pants down, revealing the bulge present in the underwear.

The tightening grip in his hair made Akira clear that Akechi wanted him to go on, so that what he did. Sliding the underwear down just slightly, just enough to free the erection within.

First Akira’s fingers moved over it slowly, Akechi making little sounds as he did, but then Akira couldn’t contain himself either as his tongue slid over the head just slightly.

‘’Oh my god.’’ Akechi whispered softly as he felt this new sensation. Never before could he have even thought this would one day be his reality. The guy of his dreams slowly licking his dick like this. It was almost already too much, but he could contain himself slightly, using the grip in Akira’s hair as a lifeline.

Akira wanted to hear more, so he placed his lips around Akechi’s dick, slowly taking it in as much as he could. The moans that escaped Akechi then were like music to his ears, Akira could definitely get used to hearing that sound.

Slowly he began to set up a pace, making sure to give Akechi as much pleasure as possible, but not to go too far yet. His tongue moving along the underside of the dick.

Then he moved off, which made Akechi almost push him back, the sudden loss of the warmth of Akira’s mouth wasn’t what he wanted to feel. The cold air cooling the saliva on it instantly. He didn’t really want the moment to end. But when Akira opened his mouth and asked something, Akechi knew there was something he wanted to feel even more than this. ‘’Do you have anything like lube around?’’ Akira asked as his hand found Akechi’s dick again, slowly stroking it as he waited for a responds.

Obviously Akechi was seriously distracted, but he managed to point towards the drawer next to the bed. Akira moved over to open it, all while still making slow movements with his other hand.

Then Akira returned to his original position, but as he took the erection in front of him into his mouth once again he also undid himself from the remain pieces of clothing he was still wearing too. His head bobbing up and down the dick as he used his hands to lube his fingers, before slowly putting one into himself.

Akira opened himself up as he continued to work on Akechi’s dick, increasing his speed slightly. The sight of Akira fingering himself like that was slightly overwhelming to Akechi. Not that he could really see it well as his vision got clouded from the pleasure he was experiencing, moaning and gasping loudly every time Akira took him in entirely, or whenever Akira moaned around him.

Moments like that went passed, until Akira once again parted his mouth from Akechi, this time Akechi wasn’t disappointed in the slightest, since he knew exactly what was to happen next.

And just as soon Akira moved up a little, sitting himself on top of Akechi’s stomach as he joined their lips together again. Akechi could taste the slight saltiness of his own precum in Akira’s mouth, but he couldn’t even think about it for long as Akira slowly lowered himself onto his dick, taking him in inch by inch..

Akira had to part away to breathe properly after he had taken him in completely, the soft strong breaths breathing right into Akechi’s ears. ‘’You feel so good.’’ Akira whispered softly. Then he began to move up again slowly, soft sounds escaping his lips as he went to sit up straight to move a little easier, his hands steadying him on top of Akechi’s chest.

‘’Ah, yes. You are just so great, so perfect.’’ Akira rambled out as he increased his pace. Akechi was completely overwhelmed by the sight of Akira literally bouncing on top of his dick, completely engulfed in pleasure. ‘’So. Good.’’ Akira continued.

Then Akechi decided he had to do something to, he had to touch Akira, he had to move too. So he slowly moved his hands to grab Akira’s butt, soon after he hesitatingly bucked his hips up in sync with Akira’s movements. ‘’Ah, Yes!’’ Akira almost screamed out. Akechi took it as a sign to keep on moving, to hear as much of those sounds as possible.

And that’s exactly what he got. Akira laid his chest onto Akechi’s, now moaning right into his ear as Akechi increased his pace a little. ‘’You’re doing so great babe, hitting me exactly at the right places.’’ He moaned. ‘’I love you so much.’’ He kept repeating those words over and over. ‘’Soo much.’’

Akechi didn’t speak, just a series of moans escaping his mouth too. Every word Akira spoke seemed to make its way straight down, making him feel like he’s getting closer to his climax every time.

They were both completely lost in pleasure, moving in sync as they neared their edge. ‘’I… I’m close.’’ Akechi managed to speak out. Akira took this as a sign to move even faster, whispering even more words of love into Akechi’s ear.

But he didn’t expect to hear any back. Yet as Akechi was actually pushed over the edge he blurted it out. ‘’I love you ‘Kira!’’ He yelled out as he came. His whole mind going blank as he felt the orgasm shake up his entire body.

The sound of Akechi screaming out his love like that was enough to straight up send Akira over the edge too, cumming all over Akechi’s chest as he moaned his name loudly. He took a moment to ride out his orgasm, not wanting the moment to be over just yet.

Then Akira just fell down on top of Akechi, his mouth still close by his ear. ‘’I love you too, a lot.’’ He whispered as he wrapped his arms around him, and Akechi just did the same thing. They didn’t want to get up yet, they wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as they possibly could.

 

But they couldn’t stay like that forever. Eventually Akira managed to get up and quickly cleaned the mess between them, not bothering to really try his best. He returned to Akechi’s side as quickly as possible, placing a soft kiss on top of his forehead as he wrapped his arms back around. ‘’How do you feel?’’ Akira then asked.

Akechi actually didn’t expect that question, so it took him of guard a little. ‘’Great.’’ He eventually answered. ‘’To think you would ever be at my side like this. To think anything good like this has actually happened to me.’’ He rambled, he was too tired to really think about what he was saying.

Akira turned his head slightly to look at Akechi’s face, stroking his hair out of his face softly. ‘’You deserve all the good things in the world. You are worth way more than you think.’’ He whispered softly. ‘’And I love you, with my entire heart.’’

That last sentence, and especially the realisation that Akira actually meant it, made Akechi’s eyes get watery within an instant. It would take a long time before he could actually get used to the thought that there was someone out there that would say such a thing to him, but now at least he believed he could. ‘’I love you too, I love you so much.’’ Akechi then responded as he began to cry softly. This tears weren’t from pain though, they were from happiness. He actually felt happy, for once.

 

 

Both ended up falling asleep like that relatively soon after, feeling the comfortable warmth of the other next to them as they drifted off.

 

The next morning Akechi woke up with a black ball of fluff on top of his chest. It took him a small moment to realize what was going on, but as he recalled the memories from the night before he felt his face warm up immediately. This all really happened.

He spend the night with Akira, he got saved by Akira, he is loved by Akira.

Then his vision drifted off to his desk, remembering the diary that still lain on top. He softly lifted Akira’s head up so that he could get out of bed without disturbing him in his sleep. Akira was way too cute like this after all.

Akechi made his way over to the desk, sitting behind it. He opened the diary, just like he had done so many times before, but this was nothing like those times. It didn’t even came close.

He then wrote the last words he would ever write inside. He wrote the conclusion to this part of his story. He didn’t think, he just wrote down everything he felt.

He soon returned to Akira in the bed, leaving the diary open to allow the ink to dry, one last time.

 

 

 

 

 

_I was wrong?_

_He, Akira, actually cares for me._

_I don't know what I ever did to deserve this, I still don't believe I do._

_But, I suppose I can listen to him for a while, listen till maybe one day I believe him._

_Till that killing voice in my head is gone for good at least._

_I was right about one thing though._

_Last night truly was the darkest of nights._

_I only would've never thought that night would end in such a bright day._

_The brightest of days._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An actual good ending? Here? By me??  
> That's.. rare...
> 
> But seriously, this was such a fun project to be a part of, and the art is just so freaking awesomeeeee  
> I'm gonna credit both of them below.  
> The pages in between are done by Mei:  
> https://twitter.com/BocchanLucifer
> 
> And another piece is done by Alice:  
> https://twitter.com/alicechugst/status/1102268719873564674?s=21
> 
> This was so awesome to do, and frankly, I dont think I deserve such awesome art, yet here we are!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading through this!  
> (And yes, comparing all my smut attempts do draws the conclusion I got a thing for powerbottoms... I'm pretty sure all of my attempts got one~)


End file.
